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Bad Manners That Can Ruin Your Acting Career
By Ruth Kulerman Aug 8, 2005, 22:57 In some of the great 18th and 19th century British novels the author assumes the voice of a narrator and addresses the reader as if they--the narrator and the reader--were friends: "Dear Reader, I hasten..." or "You may not think, Dear Reader..." The first time I read the novel "Tom Jones" I wanted to cry when the author/narrator/familiar voice bid the reader goodbye. So as we draw near to the end of our travels through tips on acting, I do think that the "Dear Reader" tradition would be almost worth resurrecting, although it may sound a bit archaic in the 21st century. Nevertheless... Dear Reader: Writing about manners in the professional world of acting requires a fine delicacy, not a trait I'm sure I have. How does one talk about the treatment/mistreatment of fellow actors, directors, producers, agents, managers, coaches, teachers, costume designers, cameramen, anyone and everyone whom you write to, speak with, act with, interact with as an actor without being rude or critical? Let me say from the start, every example cited here has been taken from real life. And every example relates directly to the actor in his professional capacity, not the actor in his personal relationships. "Professionalism is a must." This statement was the last sentence in an Internet ad for actors in an independent film: For professionalism, please read "manners," because--bottom line--that is what professionalism is: MANNERS. Manners may seem passe today. But they certainly make life a bit more pleasant. Even more importantly, they give you an edge in being cast, being taken on as an agent's client, or even just plain being treated well. If the makeup artist likes you, your makeup will be applied better. She will like you if you have treated her politely. You stand a better chance of becoming a signed client if you treat the agent politely. A fellow cast members will recommend you to a director when someone unexpectedly backs out of a project--if you have treated that cast members politely. There are of course cold robotic manners or effusive overly-personal manners or just the right touch of genuine manners (sounds something like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, right?) or no manners at all. Start watching actors as they interact in our profession. Watching how actors treat their co-workers is the best way to recognize and categorize manners. Enough general chit-chat. Down to specifics: TIPS in MINIATURE: (One on One) Dressing rooms may be crowded. Quite often your space is allocated by the stage manager. Respect that space. Do not overflow. Hang up your coat/clothes so that they too do not invade others' space. Don't wear perfume. Some people are allergic. Do not smoke. Do not borrow anything unless absolutely necessary. If you receive flowers, ask if anyone would mind if you left them in the dressing room to share with the rest of the cast. Same with cookies, etc. Eating supper in the dressing room? Best not to. Coffee? Watch out for spills. Shoes? Push them under the counter top so no one trips. And keep the noise down, especially if you play music. Turn down the volume. If someone has a fast change and there is no wardrobe mistress or dresser, if you are not busy, offer to help. I remember a play where the leading lady exited and had to reenter soaking wet a minute later. She asked someone to turn on the shower early so the water would be warm. The person who was asked refused. Another actress volunteered and did it faithfully through the run of the show. There was no thank you for that gesture. So which actress displayed the worst manners? The one who refused to help or the one who didn't say "Thank you"? There is a story about a husband reminding his famous opera singer wife that "Prima Donna" means not only "First Lady" but also "Lady first." That is, behave well (like a "lady") rather than pull a "diva" act. "Behave well" simply refers to "manners." [Male readers: same applies to your gender even though the prima donna story is primarily aimed at women.] I remember seeing someone struggle with a back zipper. No one volunteered to help. I remember someone who needed a prop instantly every night on a fast exit and reenter. No one volunteered to hold the prop immediately off stage so the actress would not have to dash to the prop table. All miniature, maybe even trivial displays of lack of manners. These tiny slings and arrows (which are the equivalent of professional bad manners) start to add up. We have to harden ourselves and unfortunately it is difficult to harden only part of the Self without hardening all of it. And hardening means goodbye to sensitivity and insight and goodbye to sensitivity and insight means goodbye to a nuanced and insightful performance. What started as the result of hardening the heart against bad manners ends up hardening the Self that creates. There is nothing quite so lovely as a thank you note or postcard thank you. To whom? Fellow cast members for a wonderful run of a show on closing night. Agents for an interview. Even an email answer to a manager when he has written a short note in response to your request for an interview. Thank you, thank you, good luck, It was so nice, You have been a joy to work with--such tiny words, mini-sentences--carrying good will. And think you not that good will doesn't count in our profession! "Scatter ye rosebuds of thank ye, please, and a few good deeds" to mangle Robert Herrick's charming poem. Manners, courtesy, politeness, kindness, thoughtfulness--to be crass--will get you roles. Even if you dismiss manners as insignificant, then adopt them just because they will help you get (and keep) jobs. Even if you prefer to dismiss the idea that these gestures make people feel good and help turn the jungle we work in into something slightly resembling a garden, nevertheless learn professional manners because they help smooth the way to success. Use sharp brains rather than a sharp tongue. TIP: Watch What You Say and Whom You Say It To! (One on One) I was at a callback with a first rate theatre company. We were all sitting in a huge elegant room. I heard an older gentleman read three or four different scenes with different partners. When called on to read yet another scene, he exploded. "I've read four times. By now, you ought to know if I can act the role or not. This is enough" and out he stalked. So guess who did not get cast, even though he was by far the best actor up for the role? Temper has no place anywhere in professional relationships. Bite your tongue before you snap! I am not convinced that rudeness or throwing a fit even make us feel better, but I am convinced that rudeness or throwing a fit do not gain you anything except a bad reputation. I cannot think of a professional situation where rudeness and a self-satisfying explosion helped get a desired goal. If the monitor at an open call is rude, what have you gained by snapping back at her? Remember she may have an open line to the producer. An "attitude" guarantees that you won't be cast, that you are creating an indelible impression and a permanent reputation of being difficult to work with. That is one of the main reasons directors cast the same people over and over and over. They know how difficult or how agreeable that particular actor is. Being pleasant (having good manners) heads many a director's requirement list before he will cast someone. Letting off steam gains nothing and loses much. TIPS: MANNERS IN THE WORKPLACE (One on Many) 1. Be on time: Be on time to what? Rehearsals, performances, appointments, classes, coaching sessions, conferences, auditions, meetings with costume designers. Everything. Some people take pride in their lateness, wearing it like a banner which pronounces that they are so important that it doesn't matter whom they keep waiting. Lateness is a subtle insult. 2. Learn your lines. A book could be written on that subject alone. Just learn them. It is your duty to yourself, to the director, to the audience and most of all, to the other actors in the scene (stage, film or TV). Again, not learning lines belongs in the arena of bad professional manners. It is thoughtless. 3. Discuss, don't "diss." Do not argue with the director. Even if you win the argument you have lost--meaning, that director will probably never cast you again. Keep discussions private, not in full view of crew or cast. 4. Learn to be polite even when writing in disagreement. I think of the many emails received here at ActorTips. With one exception, all writers have been professionally courteous. It has been appreciated. 5. Do not give advice about a line reading, an interpretation, or anything to do with the casts' performance. That is not your business. That belongs between actors and director. That is far into the territory of rudeness. It reeks of smugness. It is a subtle form of arrogance. ("I know how to read lines better than you do!"). And that's called "bad manners." I cannot stress too strongly the absolute necessity to control your temper. Actors are notorious for quick mouths and delicate egos. Get rid of one and strengthen the other. Being caustic, sarcastic, yielding to a clever put-down--these may make you feel king of the mountain, but in our profession it won't take long before that mountain contains only one person and that person will be unemployed most of the time. Even in New York where there are thousands of actors, it is still a small world. Your reputation for manners--or lack of--travels fast, even in the largest centers of the business. FINAL TIP Dip into the honey jar, not the vinegar bottle. And so, dear reader, with apologies for any toes stepped on, I remain faithfully yours. Go read Jane Austen for scathing portrayals of manners. ------------------------------------------ "Actor Tips" is copyright 2005 by Chad Gracia and ActorTips.com, Inc. All rights reserved. For more articles on acting, as well as free monologues and play scripts, subscribe to the newsletter by visiting ... Click Here » Sign up for Movie Vine Newsletter updates! » Email this article to a friend ...................................................................... © Copyright 2004-2009 by MovieVine.com OWNER/FOUNDER Wendy Shepherd - StudioMatrix.com Privacy Policy |
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